Ever wondered why parents react differently to their kids' sporting events? Reflecting on our personal experiences of being soccer parents, we get into the nitty-gritty of the amusingly different parental reactions on the soccer field. This episode is a laugh riot as we discuss the unexpected aspects of parenthood, the thrill of buying a Mr. Beast t-shirt, the quirkiness of online shopping, and the modern-day phenomena of participation awards.
Ever been intrigued by the Krebs Cycle and the concept of oxygen and decomposition? We promise you a deep dive into the subject, inspired by the recent Titanic submarine mission. Along with this scientific excursion, we tackle prevailing online misinformation, the dangerous mindset of invincibility among billionaires, and the pressure within self-contained systems.
Balancing family, work, school concerts, and hygiene doesn't come easy, does it? Laying bare our struggles of work-life balance, we reveal how it impacts our kids and our unique ways of managing it. We share our funny yet sensitive stories about dental hygiene, the importance of brushing teeth, and our experiences of dealing with cavities. As we round off our discussion with tattoos, Lego sets, TikTok fame and park hangouts, we hope you find solace in the fact that the joys and challenges of parenting are universal! Welcome aboard this laughter-filled journey of shared experiences, parenting quirks, and everyday life lessons.
Ever wondered why parents react differently to their kids' sporting events? Reflecting on our personal experiences of being soccer parents, we get into the nitty-gritty of the amusingly different parental reactions on the soccer field. This episode is a laugh riot as we discuss the unexpected aspects of parenthood, the thrill of buying a Mr. Beast t-shirt, the quirkiness of online shopping, and the modern-day phenomena of participation awards.
Ever been intrigued by the Krebs Cycle and the concept of oxygen and decomposition? We promise you a deep dive into the subject, inspired by the recent Titanic submarine mission. Along with this scientific excursion, we tackle prevailing online misinformation, the dangerous mindset of invincibility among billionaires, and the pressure within self-contained systems.
Balancing family, work, school concerts, and hygiene doesn't come easy, does it? Laying bare our struggles of work-life balance, we reveal how it impacts our kids and our unique ways of managing it. We share our funny yet sensitive stories about dental hygiene, the importance of brushing teeth, and our experiences of dealing with cavities. As we round off our discussion with tattoos, Lego sets, TikTok fame and park hangouts, we hope you find solace in the fact that the joys and challenges of parenting are universal! Welcome aboard this laughter-filled journey of shared experiences, parenting quirks, and everyday life lessons.
I don't know if I got those kind of headaches, but, like, i don't normally get those kind of headaches. And now here we are. And now here we are. How are you? Oh, you know what the fuck is that Speculum, the lighter. Why do you have a lighter Candles? I'll give you five dollars if you stick your finger in there. It's not big enough too. Oh, then you can like like a candle, like it's electric, right, it would totally be like a little taser. It is like a tiny taser, but I don't like, i don't know, i don't like lighter, is it? And I like that. It's like rechargeable. Yeah, because I'm one of my like online shopping sprees. That's a fun thing to buy online. You know what I bought online. I actually know what this is I bought.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you buy something for your child that you know they are going to lose their ever-loving mind over. Yes, and so I did that And I bought him and it's going to be here either tomorrow or Friday, because we live in the middle of butthuck, nowhere. So, amazon, there is no same day Amazon, there's no next day Amazon. It's like I ordered this on Tuesday, monday, sunday, sunday, monday. Hopefully it's here tomorrow or Friday, but it is a t-shirt And on the t-shirt This is Mr Beast's logo. They're obsessed man, so obsessed, so obsessed with Mr Beast. They love him. He was like money, i want Mr Beast merch. And I'm like, first off, you should not be saying we're in merch, you are seven years old, am I okay? Put on that. Well, it just sounds so like I was like listening to him. Like if we're watching cable, like wherever we are someone else's house because I have cable, but then they'll be like we're watching, and then all of a sudden, you know it's a commercial break. Yeah, he doesn't call them commercials, he calls them ads, although that makes sense. Yeah, an ad break, yeah, but like we always call them commercials, of course we did. Have you seen there's a guy who, like, talks about the, the like PowerPoints that his students make, and then he started he just started coming to Tick, tock And then, like he'll be like I know a quick sponsor break And they'll put that in there. Yeah, and it's sponsored by Fat Turkey. Yeah, it's just a picture of a Fat Turkey Or like some kind of a duck. So they're adorable. They are adorable.
Speaker 1:Today was our last soccer day, last soccer, and usually play 536, but today was the last one and everybody got to play against their parents. So then we had specific like half hour time slots and we were the last time slot, 6 to 630. This was what tired I was there And there was like four other parents that were playing against the kids. But then there was also like three parents that were like sitting on the sidelines and I'm like you guys can play. You know, we're not, we're not limiting the size of the team.
Speaker 1:Obviously, look at all the children, like for you. But no, they just had to sit and watch. Yeah, like I would 100% be watching. Oh, no, well, and I, you know what? if I was thin, i would be more comfortable watching, but I'm not. I'm chunky, so I have to play What? I was bad.
Speaker 1:No, it's just the logic that goes on in my head. Oh, yeah, every kid gets a medal. There is no gold medal, there is no silver, there's nothing. Every kid gets a medal. And you know what? I'm not teaching them anything. I'm like, hey, look, my kid got a medal because there's no other fucking way you can.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's how that fucking happened. It wasn't like. Oh, like millennials, they get an award for everything. Yeah, cause boomer parents couldn't stand their kid not winning. Right, we were children. We were choosing to give ourselves a medal for everything. No, that was because boomer parents could handle the fact that their precious little angel didn't like win on their thing. And then they're like, oh yeah, like an earned day. We didn't get participation awards. I'm like you guys invented participation awards. That was you. I didn't invent them as a five year old You, how dare you? And rent, like they're new eight because he's seven, so they don't even keep score, like it just doesn't matter. They're barely, like, barely able to understand the game. And you've got like the kids that actually want to play. They're doing real good. And then you've got kids that are doing cartwheels.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i always wanted to look for four leaf clovers. They're lucky. I wanted us to win. That seemed like the best way to win was to find a one leaf clover. It wasn't like if you tried to win, that was a stupid fucking solution. Who do you think? Oh, but the parents still won. It was like, but, like.
Speaker 1:So there was two dads and then, including me, there was three mums. Like the mums when we're going up and we're going to go steal the ball or we're going to go like whatever all of the moms are just like oops, i accidentally messed up here, child, you're on the opposite team, you should go and take this now. Or like running really slowly or making very exaggerated movements so that they know what you're about to do. The dads are in it to win it. Yeah, i think dad sometimes forget just exactly who the game is for. Right, it was funny, definitely fucking hilarious.
Speaker 1:I'm like, yeah, the light turned off, but yeah, but now there's no more soccer, which means no more having to go to cause. I totally trained my child that after soccer we get ice cream. Yes, only so he won't cause. It's right, it's out of park, like the soccer fields are out of park, and so there's like a big jungle gym. It's the only way that I could convince him to not stay and fart around on the jungle gym for half an hour. Hey, buddy, if you stay on the jungle gym, we don't have time to get ice cream. Oh, because you know what? I do not want to carry a kicking and screaming child that late at night away from not twice a week. No, not engaging in that power struggle, i don't care. I will absolutely bribe my child if it just makes that time in my life easier. I mean, it's fair. So no more ice cream.
Speaker 1:I thought we might go for ice cream tomorrow night because, like I told him, like we always go to McDonald's for ice cream because they have a drive through, because mommy's not getting out of the car, mommy's done, mommy's tired, mommy's like just not, not. No, i want to engage with people, but he always wants a banana split and you can't get a banana split from McDonald's. You get a banana split from Dairy Queen, but we're not going to Dairy Queen because Dairy Queen doesn't have a drive through. Yeah, that's fair. So it always breaks his heart. And so then we made a deal that I would go, that we would go on the last day to Dairy Queen, and then he didn't want to go to Dairy Queen. Today He still wants to go to Dairy Queen, he still wants to get the banana split, but today he really wanted to go to McDonald's so he could get the new McFlurry, because they had caramel popcorn McFlurries. That sounds disgusting. So I made a deal with him and now we're going to Dairy Queen tomorrow night. That's what I need to do with my. It's going twice, what's that? Do you end up going twice, like that I will, yes, but I don't ever have to go again, like there's no more, like after soccer ice cream until next year. So to my, make my kid happy, that's important Sometimes.
Speaker 1:Oh, ok, so Monday, monday, monday I started seeing all the shit about the Titanic submarine submersible. Yeah, so I started seeing it on Monday. So I'm trying to talk to people about it on Monday, but they don't want to talk about it. Nobody wanted to talk about it, nobody cared. Now all anybody's talking about I'm like, come on, guys, we're really.
Speaker 1:When I was interested in this, i'm kind of past it now. I mean there's a bit of novelty left because, like they only have until like tomorrow morning at seven, thirty or whatever, but like kind of No, no, yeah, there's nothing, nothing's happened yet. I did like the concept that like it was the souls of the poor who, like, dies so the rich could live, who are like, oh, more rich people. Funny, i just feel bad for the father and son, i don't know. So I know, like the guy who owns the business or whatever was there And I know the PlayStation controller, that's like it. And then they heard banging, but then it could have been anything. Well, yeah, so they have yeah, the CEO was on there that they have the guide, which is the other guy And then they have three mission specialists who are the passengers, but they call them mission specialists.
Speaker 1:Those are the ones that pay $250,000 per ticket, yeah, and one of them is this guy, hamish Harding, who is this like billionaire guy who does all of the things. Like he's been into space, he's already been down in the Mariana's trench, he's been everywhere, and so he's one of the guys that's down there. And the other guy is this guy from India who's like a billionaire in India. I don't even know really what he does, but he brought his 19 year old son with him. Oh, that's sad, yeah. So I'm like that's what's like. Like, at the beginning I was like making all these jokes and whatever. And then that one got set, like when I found out like that the kid was, i knew it was a father and son, but I was thinking like maybe like 60 and 40. Yeah, but no, the son's 19. And so that makes me really really sad Because, like it's as much as like you know this, from our perspective, this was not a good idea to go down in the submarine to the Titanic That's being controlled with a Logitech game controller, yeah, and like only has one button in the entire interior And like all of these things like for us, like I'd be like nope, nope, i'm good, thanks.
Speaker 1:But like someone was talking about how these are, like these people are billionaires. They are billionaires, they don't, they don't, they don't have, they don't live in the same world, like anything that goes wrong in their world. they can literally like buy their way out of Everything's fixed. Yeah, so they have this like false sense of invincibility and it kind of got caught up with them. But I was scrolling the Tikitaki And some of the people who were like somebody commented or someone made a Tik Tok and like good for this woman She was, i mean, like she was trying to pose her thoughts as facts instead of questions, but she still like was being like inquisitive in her nature.
Speaker 1:She just her facts that she was posing as facts aren't actually facts. So she said I know that bacteria need oxygen in order to decompose things And these people are in a submarine and or submersible and the oxygen is running out And they're also like it's super cold And so like they're basically frozen. So when the oxygen completely runs out, then they're just going to die but they're never going to decompose, basically Right. And then I commented on it and I was like oh, here's something that I remember because I was in biology class and I had said she says I know. So I commented and I was like I remember biology, krebs cycle, all that shit.
Speaker 1:I was like there's still oxygen, it's the increased carbon dioxide that's deadly. Like that's what's going to do them in is the increased carbon dioxide. You can still have oxygen in the air and you can still die from just breathing too much carbon dioxide. Yes, and I was like look at me. I just marked, but that was it, because like people keep saying they're going to run out of oxygen, they're going to run out of oxygen. Like no, they're not, they're just going to have too much carbon dioxide. But I mean like I get the sentiment.
Speaker 1:And then somebody commented on it and they, oh, my comment, and they said, well, the carbon dioxide keeps the vessel pressurized or does it just eventually implode? and reading that comment made my brain implode, because the carbon dioxide has nothing to do with that Americans man science, it's a self-contained thing. I mean eventually, like, and first off the whole oxygen thing, there's anaerobic bacteria, that's the thing. But like it's a self-contained system And if anything, the decomposition would increase the pressure because the gases that are left off let off, let off during decomposition. If you want to see an example of this, go watch a whale blow up on a beach. Oh, yeah, yeah, like the dead whale is on the beach, the decomposition starts in its stomach and it expands, expands, expands and then it explodes because the pressure gets too much. Same kind of thing could happen in here, so it wouldn't cause it to implode. But also, it's not the carbon dioxide that would do that. It's going to be like the. But but even before that pressure can build up, the, the submersible itself is going to deteriorate what? long before that? and it's going to have a leak and an end. That's going to implode. And then you know like tin can smushed. Yes, if that's not what already happened.
Speaker 1:Like like they were an hour and 45 minutes into the three hour descent when they lost contact. It was fast, it was fast And like, but that happened at like nine something Sunday morning and they didn't report them missing until like the evening. Why, i don't know. Maybe because you have three goddamn fucking billionaires and you don't know where they went. So, yeah, that makes sense. People is going to be big mad when we say we lost three billionaires. I swear they were right here, i just put them down. They've only been down for an hour. I just took my eyes off them for a second. I was watching a YouTube video today.
Speaker 1:Oh, it was about like some Ponzi scheme that this guy was like taking down and it's something to do with some Canadian, something, something, something. And they were like the Ontario Federal Service or whatever investigated him and they couldn't shut him down. So I'm going to expose him. Like good for you, it was a good job. And like, looking at it from like I'm a government worker perspective, like people go, oh, you know, the government couldn't even shut him down, but this guy could. Da, da, da, da, da, da. Like you have no idea, like probably, how much the government is not allowed to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, the rules that keep me from doing shit are like obscene, like, um, like you're not even allowed to look at someone's Facebook. What happened? if you do, you can't use any of the information that you find. And I don't mean a private Facebook, i mean, like the public Facebook, the one that is open to the public. You can't use any information that you find on there in any of your like investigations or anything, but it's not relevant. This is just for top, well, um, so I had, well, a few files of parent who wasn't supposed to be consuming alcohol When they were having their parenting time And they posted a picture of themselves with a beer in their hand, beer in one hand and the kid in the other, and the picture itself indicated the time of year And so, like I, but I couldn't use that to show that this person was continuing to drink while caring for their child.
Speaker 1:Because, because Facebook, although it's a public, although it's on their public profile that you can look at, because you need a Facebook profile yourself to look at it, that would count as a little bit of an expectation of anonymity or something like that privacy. Yeah, your account set to open Well, i don't know if the entire account was, but that picture was. Because you can't go and look through Facebook unless you have a Facebook profile yourself. Okay, yeah, that's true, yeah, but still, once I have a Facebook profile, i can go and look at whatever I want, but I can't use any of that information. So you just have to hope to hell that somebody actually like takes a screenshot and sends it to you or something. Not that I ever asked anybody to do that, no, you would never. No, but yeah, and then I was like looking at the comments and this one guy commented something along the lines of the Canadian like investigation unit or whatever.
Speaker 1:Couldn't even stop this guy, but this YouTuber could says a lot about the Canadian government. And then somebody like replied to his comment And they were like, well, yeah, have you seen who their prime minister is? And I really just, i mean I didn't, but I wanted to reply back. You would let Donald Trump shut up. Yeah, i don't know if you guys can be like pointing fingers here. Yeah, and like, justin Trudeau is not that bad. He's made some questionable decisions, but he's never, ever, ever, flat out told someone that you can grab a woman by her. That is very true. He has not said that. I think he's done some you know not terrible things. Are you?
Speaker 1:dressing up in blackface wasn't great, oh my gosh, why would you do that? Like why? But you know what? I remember that happening when I was in elementary school and looking back on it, maybe not such a good thing, but I was in grade two or grade four, i can't remember, and I remember one of the girls in my class. We were doing like a class presentation on something, something, something I don't know, and they dressed up as First Nations and painted their skin brown. I mean, it's a kid, like they don't, they're not trying to be malicious, oh no, they weren't. But their parents helped them get ready.
Speaker 1:I had, i had a whole it was like fake beer skin type of thing. It had like a belt that had all the little bead design. I had moccasins that went with it. I dressed up as it for Halloween. I mean there was no face paint involved, but like it was highly problematic. I mean, like I think that the outfits I mean like, looking back on them, we know better, but I don't think the outfit itself is the problem. So much is painting your skin.
Speaker 1:But then, at the same time, i also remember when Moana came out, and so then of course, halloween that year, you can be whoever you want to be, and the one for Maui had had his skin with all the tattoos on it And people were all up in arms about it. Like, oh my gosh, you're literally wearing the skin of another race, but like I feel like maybe those people didn't actually watch the movie because his tattoos were so, like important in the story and in the actual like the, the, the tail, like the historical, like tail or whatever that Moana is based off of, like very important to the character of Maui. So it's nothing about his skin, you're wearing the important plot point. Yeah, it's a good place to start. Hey, look at that. Oh my God, my un-makeup face. Do you know makeup on there? No, i think I had. I think I had mascara and lip gloss.
Speaker 1:You and your hair. Your hair in this looks like by that night, your hair looked phenomenal When you were wearing your cap and gown. You looked like a poodle. Yeah, i, totally, i had curly hair. She's like. Nope, people always complain to wouldn't listen. There's Kevin. Oh, my goodness, still have that dress. Can't fit in. Still have it. Oh, yeah, i like her dress. You sold it. Yeah, oh, holy, yeah, that's the only only child of pictures I have. You, big jerk, really. Yeah, oh, i'm not really a get in front of the camera kind of person, i guess. Um, you know, i stood for it.
Speaker 1:I mean like, but also, like people know, and since my sister worked for my dad for so long, on and off. Like a lot of the people know her as well And and so they're not surprised when she's the one that comes to the door, she's the one that has his phone. But also, like my dad like I worked for him too sort of my older sister Uh, he is such a goddamn perfectionist when it comes to his work, which is great for him, but as his employee it sucked, um, but Yeah, i know that it's fun as an employee, oh, but because of that, like that also rubbed off on my sister and she's just as much as of a perfectionist Like you can literally walk into houses in this town and you can pretty much guess whether or not my, my dad or my sister did the work in there. Like they have a specific style. But also everything is fucking perfect. Like like, yeah, there's Mickey Mouse shit in places, but like not dangerous Mickey Mouse, just like the way that it has to be Mickey Mouse. Like, yeah, if she didn't do a good job, then in a few years she would have burnt through his good reputation. The fact that it has a good reputation means that, like she's lived up to it. Yes, because it doesn't take long at all for that goodwill to be destroyed, right, exactly Well, it takes just a couple of parents, no offense, and Maybe, and your toast, especially with social media. Now, holy, yeah, oh man, i got a social media thing. Tell me more.
Speaker 1:Last week we had a school concert. Now, uh, so I work in the next town over, so I was able to drive here just in time for the concert to start. By the time my kid got up on the stage and was done, i had to go back to work, like there was no more time. Um, my vacation is eaten up already by pro D days and Christmas break. Like there is no extra time for me to pull from. So I'm. But luckily he was up and down before like by the time I had to leave. I was just, it was just great, thank fucking God. And so then this person posts the next day. I've been thinking about this since yesterday and it's upsetting me, so I want to mention it. Last night before bed I was talking to my son about the spring concert and he says, yeah, it was good, but nobody was hardly there. I noticed that too.
Speaker 1:How sad that we cannot even stay to support the other kids in our community. Keep in mind this is one in the afternoon on a weekday. Shame on all you parents who left once your child was done. Shame on those right. Shame on those who were literally walking out the door while the principal was finishing up at the end saying thanks to all. Okay, yeah, actually. Shame on those ones. Fuck you. If you're there when he starts talking, he only talks for three minutes. That's not it. That's on you.
Speaker 1:No wonder we hardly have parents involvement in our school. These parents can't even stay for another 10 minutes to support our other students. And all the years I've watched these concerts, i've never seen anything like that. Please don't use the excuse that you have to go back to work 10 more minutes. You were already there, for goodness sake. No, my kid was done within the first 10 minutes. In all the years I've watched these concerts, i've never seen anything like that. Please don't use the excuse you have to go back to work 10 more minutes. You were already there, for goodness sake. So sad to see the direction we are heading for the kids. I will always stay for your child. I will always keep my eye on them and smile when I see them.
Speaker 1:Sorry to the last group of kids and, sorry, mr Principal, i loved all of the performance. Great job, our school students and staff. And I was like, oh bitch, hold my fucking beer. Who the fuck do you think you are Actually? no, mine was really just like a drop in the bucket, because there was eventually 53 comments on this one post, dad, but you were ready to die, was that? Oh, no, because there was a lot of. We said this as we were leaving after it sat.
Speaker 1:All the parents didn't stay for the whole thing. A lot of that shit was going on. But then there was someone who said some of us have to get back to work. Time does get docked. Some of us are single parents. Please be considerate before you pass judgment. And the original poster said no, thanks, judgment passed. What employer do you have that would dock for an extra 10 minutes at your child's school concert? Let me know who they are and I'll send an appropriately worded letter. Please don't pull the single parent card.
Speaker 1:I was there watching my three older kids perform myself, with a four year old and a one year old with me. What in the world does it? does being a single parent have to do with matters of respect, i'm sorry. If you had a one year old with you, it tells me you were on fucking parental leave, you cunt. Yeah, if you brought your kids with you, it means you're not working. And this person replied actually it took me 25 minutes to get there already and 25 minutes back, and she was in kindergarten, so the rest of the concert would have been another half hour. Judgment is passing for no reason. This is silliness.
Speaker 1:And then people are commenting. So someone commented on that and said single parent households need all the extra money they can get. Be thankful you have the privilege where you don't have to worry about that. And then I commented, just simple. I said good for you for being able to make it and also ensuring your family is taking care of you're a good parent. And then people were all. And then someone else said I agree, 100%. I've stayed at every concert. It was the first time I had to leave. I have a new job and I have to go back to the next town over. I didn't get a choice. I'm on probation. This is so disappointing. Or they said I'm actually more shocked at the shaming of other parents. This is so disappointing, and so I liked that post.
Speaker 1:Someone else said I agree, single mama of three work full time times are tough. Our world isn't the same. Although I have a good employer, i'm sure you would let me go to my kids' concerts, but I would lose out on hours. Got to be able to put food on the table. And then someone else was like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, i agree. And then this person reiterated those people that were leaving literally as the principal was wrapping up. That was a dick move. Don't leave as the principal was wrapping up. That is a dick move. I will agree with that one. And then I where's my comment? Where's my comment? Did it get deleted? No, oh, there we go.
Speaker 1:So I said, as a single working parent, i am thankful that my child's performance was early enough that I could watch him before I had to go back to work. I can't imagine the guilt that parents who can't attend these due to work must feel, and I hope they don't feel any shame for doing what they have to in order to provide for their family. Fuck you. I got a lot of likes on that one. And then I just went through and I found anyone who said that they were like they had to leave because they had to take care of their family And like to their host Well, where is it? So, yeah, anytime that anyone said like I left after my child was done because whatever I had to go to work, i had to do whatever. So I just found those people and then I said good for you for meeting your children's needs, you're a good mom, good for you for doing what you have to in order to take care of your family. You're a good mom. Like just going anytime.
Speaker 1:Anybody said anything like that And I was like good for you, you're a good mom, you're a good parent. Just, whatever, fucking, stroke your ego, because it's a fucking bitch. Like I don't know why she needs to get involved in everybody's business. It seems very unnecessary. And like I don't know why you gotta be the mom police, right. Like all that is going to do is make people not come in the first place, because then they won't be leaving halfway through, they're not going to get attacked by the Karen of moms. Like don't shame people. Like there's so much terrible stuff in the world. I don't feel like we need more shame. I think we're all good on that. Yeah, yeah, try and like not be dicks for five minutes. Imagine that. So, yeah, so that was my little internet drama one, yeah, but it died down. Now There's no more.
Speaker 1:But I went to the dentist today. Can you see, okay, she's her so shiny, oh, so shiny. You maximum shine. I don't have any cavities. Well done, thank you. It's the first time in two years I've gone to an appointment and they've said that I have no cavities. Yeah, i have a lot myself.
Speaker 1:Well, like, i went five years without going to a dentist, wow, yeah. So when I went back to the dentist after five years, i had a lot of cavities, mm, hmm, and it was really sad. I'm like I don't know if I was like making new ones or if they just hadn't found them yet, because there was like quite a few. But well, that first time, the first time that I went back for a cleaning, i had to have two separate appointments for a cleaning. Your cleaning was that took that long. Yeah, they did the top half, no, the bottom half first, and then the top half in another appointment, because it was real bad. And then, yeah, and then I went for a check up. They're like, oh, here's a cavity. And I was like, okay, fine, double the cavity, then another check up. They're like, oh, there's another cavity. And then I had like all these cavities. And then today I went in for my cleaning and she like poked around and she was like you don't have any cavities. And I was like that's the first time in two years during a cleaning that you told me I don't have a cavity. I'm like I get a cold star. And then she said, well, you need to work on your flossing, so you get a silver star, but I don't have any cavities. And it is pretty great And like the only thing that I've changed in the last six months, honestly, is that I no longer drink water with lemon juice in it.
Speaker 1:You were drinking water with lemon juice in it. You're just drinking straight your acid on your teeth. Well, like lemonade without the sugar Chloride every day. No, and I don't mean like I was having like egg glass, i mean like I was having a big, giant fucking bottle that I would fill before I went to work, and when I got home from work I would fill it again. So the reason that I'm not drinking water with lemon juice in it now, though, it has nothing to do with me trying to save my teeth and everything to do with the fact that we can't drink the water out of the tap right now. So, because we can't drink the water out of the tap, i just buy bottled water And I don't put lemon bottled water. Well, like, so I mess. I was so proud of myself After my dentist appointment.
Speaker 1:Then I messaged my girlfriend Cause like I'd had a really shitty morning, and so I told her about my shitty morning. And then she was like I hope you're afternoon, i hope you have a better afternoon. And I sent her a smiling picture of me And I said the dentist says I have no cavities, so it's definitely a good afternoon. And she's like that's always good news. And I was like well, it's the first appointment in two years where they didn't find a new cavity. And her response to that was oh wow, you must have so many fillings. And I was like oh, that feels like shame. I'm gonna put the phone away now.
Speaker 1:Not necessarily, what's wrong with having lots of fillings? I don't know. I didn't think there was anything wrong with it until she pointed it out. Well, she stated a fact The shame was coming from you. Well, not necessarily that I have so many Because, like two years, every six months they find a filling. That's only four fillings. I've lost count of the number of fillings I have. I couldn't. There's not a tooth in my mouth that hasn't been tampered with. I have teeth that are more filling than tooth. I have one of those. They want to do a root canal. Yeah, three baby teeth. Yeah, you do. Every time I go they're like, wow, that's still hanging on. I'm like, yep, it is Well like.
Speaker 1:My kid had to go for a dentist appointment this morning for a cleaning and a check-up. He has a cavity. So I told him that I beat him Like I beat you because I don't have any cavities. Okay, i'm not going to beat him. Oh God, no, i wouldn't actually hit him. Wow, that escalated really quickly. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I do not. I don't actually beat my child. As tempting as it is sometimes And fuck everybody who says it's not tempting, it is tempting It feels like it'll be a lot easier to just smack him. I do not hit my child, justin, but I did tell him that I beat him because I have no cavities and he has one And so he needs to brush his teeth back Because a little bugger has been promising me that he has been brushing his teeth at his grandma and grandpa's house because he goes there before school So I can go to work.
Speaker 1:And so he's like yes, mommy, i brush my teeth every morning at grandma and grandpa's house. I'm like, okay, fine. And then this morning I was like okay, buddy, you have a dentist appointment, so make sure you brush them extra hard at grandma and grandpa's house. And he gave me this funny look. I'm like you don't actually brush your teeth at grandma and grandpa's house, do you Not? every day? Shit head is. Now they're going to know at the dentist office that I'm not making your brush your teeth and they're going to give me shame. And so Your Catholicism got you good. What's that? Your Catholicism got you good? Oh, hell, yeah, all about shame. That's how you get anything done. And then I called my mother and I was like hey, so my child has been telling me that he's been brushing his teeth at your house and I gathered that that hasn't been happening. She was like not every day. And I was like, okay, well, he has a dentist appointment today and they need to be clean.
Speaker 1:Okay, is there an alternative where you're allowed to not brush your teeth every day? Right, i brush my teeth twice a day at least, sometimes three times. I brush my teeth once a day, but I don't pretend that it's straight. Oh, i don't do that. I brush my teeth, like, every morning before I leave the house. I have to brush my teeth because otherwise I'm just too paranoid that I have stinky breath And then, like, depending on what's going on after work, i might get home and brush my teeth again, or it might just wait until I go to bed. But even like, when I go to bed, i have to have brush teeth, like I have to have a clean mouth to fall asleep, or else I just think about the fuzz that's growing on my teeth. Yeah, same, i can't go to sleep with dirty mouth. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, moral of the story is he brushed his teeth today, he flossed before he went and he will be brushing his teeth every goddamn day from now on.
Speaker 1:Oh, and when I went there and the lady was like, because, like, i came home, so my, my dentist appointment was at 2 15 and like I work in the next town over, which is like 35 minutes away, so at like 1155, i told my boss, i was like Hey, dude, like I have a dentist appointment at 2 15, but it's in like my hometown, so I'm just going to drive on my lunch hour and then, like, do a little bit of work from home and then go to my dentist appointment, as opposed to take my lunch hour right now. Coming back working for 15 minutes and then driving to my dentist appointment. That seems a little bit silly. He was like yeah for sure, whatever that works. And so then I got home and did a little bit of work and then I also brushed my teeth very well.
Speaker 1:And then when I got into the dentist office she was like so your guns are a little bit red and inflamed, but I'm pretty sure that's because you gave them a really good scrub before you came here, because that's what it looks like. And I was like I plead the fifth. That's what they always say, though. Oh, really, yeah, no for sure. They've never said that to me before. Have you brushed your teeth really roughly right before you come? No, that's why, like when you do that, it's really obvious. But then she was like you have no cavities. She's like, and like the cleaning part that usually takes like the better part of an hour. I could tell that she was done at the half hour mark, because then she was just fucking around And like I don't know your job, obviously, but like I've fucked around enough to know when someone else is fucking around, it was absolutely just fucking around in my mouth.
Speaker 1:Well, they do other stuff too, like soft tissue management, measuring your pockets. I have lots of gum recession, so I've got a little pocket, really, yeah, so they have to check out. Oh, they check out pockets. Like every year, yeah, i don't like four millimeters in there. Oh, my God, yeah, kind of a lot. It's because I clench my teeth and I brush my teeth too hard. Oh, we'll do that. All right, i'll stop. That's about as useful as any advice they're going to give you.
Speaker 1:Do you think Some cured? But really it's like when you say that and then they're talking to you and they're like you need to brush your teeth more and you need to do this and you need to do that, like, yeah, for sure, i've done that obviously for the last 35 years of my life. I'm totally going to start now. Good job, i do floss every day. Oh, i don't. And then, oh, there they're, like we can help And I haven't had a cast, i start flossing every day. Oh, look at you, go, i use to floss. I think that's probably why my teeth only survive those five years of the dentist is because I floss all the time. But like, i use a little like dental pick things to floss, like little like toothpicky things with a little thingy on it. Yeah, that's what I use. Yeah, well, i was using those.
Speaker 1:And then one time I was at the dentist and they were like what's your regime or whatever? And I told them they're like oh yeah, those floss picks, they don't work that well, so you should really just only floss. And they said that And I was like, oh, so in my mind, cannot use the dental picks, they are no good, they're terrible. No, but that's what it made sense in my head. And then I was like I can only floss. Now Flossing is the only answer. And so then I stopped And then I started getting also cavities.
Speaker 1:And then I think it was like two appointments ago when I asked the lady And I was like, hey, just saying I really don't floss. I know, because every time you guys tell me that I don't floss, i'm like I know I don't floss, but what about those floss-picky things, do those count? And she was like, yeah, those count. She's like they're better than nothing. Do that, if those are easy, do that. And I was like, well, then the other lady said that I didn't count and that it had to be floss. And she was like, no, she's like, honestly, i only use those two. I was like, well, you're a dental hygienist, so maybe you do that.
Speaker 1:And so now I have them everywhere at my house. I know they explode everywhere. What? Yeah, the bags are like the dental little thingies. They explode in your drawer And then they get all coating the bottom of your drawer And then you're like, ok, it's covered in drawer dust, but I bought these and I can't not use them. And then you're using your drawer flossers.
Speaker 1:Oh no, i am a middle-aged white woman. If you look in my bathroom right now, there's a little clear tray And on the clear tray there are two small jars like jam jars. They're like itty-bitty, like a cup, and one of them is full of Q-tips and one of them is full of the dental picks. And what is being a middle-aged woman after they things? I don't know. That's it, because apparently middle-aged white women like to make things look Pinterest-worthy And that was a Pinterest thing. It was the little fucking tray with the little fucking jars on it, so that they're not in the drawer. They're in these little itty-bitty jars and they're on the itty-bitty tray on the counter of your bathroom. I do have a tray.
Speaker 1:I keep just my skincare stuff in it. Oh, i don't take care of my skin. I never did either until, like Alana came to visit me and she had skincare stuff And like her skin is like she was going through a patch with it for a little while And then the next time she came to visit, it was like beautiful, i was like what the heck did you do? And she told me, and so then I did some of it And I'm really happy with my skin these days. Really, it's good You can get some cheap stuff.
Speaker 1:I use the ordinary. It's like a gray, i don't know bottle system. Oh, and like if I were to say that I have a skit. Like when I'm in the shower I use my three and one as a face wash. It's great, it's shampoo, it's a face wash and it's a body wash Beautiful, i use shampoo now. What's that? I use really fancy shampoo now, oh really. Yeah, my hair is so blonde, from so dark that it would be like super damaged if I did. Uh-huh, That actually makes sense. My hair is like I'm lucky It's healthy because it's short. There's nothing, nothing in it. This is Cure Straw. It's just a tacky head, but like it's a lot of love.
Speaker 1:Do you use Olaplex? No, i use this like special vegan stuff. I've never done it on an Olaplex Bad products in it, because I want to be a good person. Okay, i had it up to now. It looks a little bit great. Calm down, it looks fine. Oh, uh, okay, so here's the thing. What's the thing Usually? here's the thing.
Speaker 1:The thing is, i was about to say I was going to be like here's the thing, the thing is, there we go. Okay, i was thinking about hair because I was like hair, and then somebody recently told me that they thought I had long hair and then, oh right, i should probably tell Marika about this This if, in the rare occasion that this makes it onto the internet, this part's not going to be included. Um, i just think that we were chatting and having fun, but there's a significant possibility that she thinks that we were like flirting and I'm like oh, but I have a girlfriend. But, like, i also don't want to be like that person, to be like, oh, i have a girlfriend, don't be that, just feel like, well, so first, you just connected as gay women and you've been clearing your circle. There's nothing wrong with that. Okay, yeah, that's fine. There's so few of us. We all have new friends. She also sent me some of her friends on Facebook.
Speaker 1:Now She's like oh, and I told her that, like, the office is super gay, all because of me. And she said with your super gay office, i thought you might appreciate the sticker my sister sent me. Now I have to find a perfect place for it And it's the gay agenda, where it's like all of the days are be gay, except for Tuesdays. Yeah, yeah, invite you to have a cross-stitch of that. I just got a taco tattoo. So it's perfect, she does.
Speaker 1:She has a taco tattoo. That's a great idea. I want that. I know, so do I now, um, and then I said oh, and then I messaged her on Tuesday and I said I'm a bad gay. It's Tuesday, i need to be in that tacos. At least with your tattoo, you'll always have one.
Speaker 1:And then I was like, well, fuck, like I need to know about this taco tattoo. So I asked her like is it cartoon, is it realistic? Is it like elegant line work, what does it look like? Like I need to know the details about taco, yeah, i want. And then she's like I think you might need to be ejected from the queers group until you can step it up with your taco game. This is it when it was fresh and red. And so I show you her little. It's on her chest like clavically type area. Okay, it's cute, it's so cute. I just saw this one and it's the one I'm looking at now. Oh, i mean, like that's it. That's a tattoo too. I just like it's just, it's just so cute. And I said I was like what did? she says My friend got a matching one on her ass, but at her early mustache I said oh, my God, it's the cutest taco ever.
Speaker 1:He's so happy. She said thanks, It's a little icebreaker who doesn't love a happy little taco. My kid loves it. I want to gay friends And I'm trying to like. So but like, here's the thing I am.
Speaker 1:So I have to be careful because she's the practice consultant, so I have to make sure that I'm able to keep like practice consultant her and friend her separate. Yeah, you can, i can't. Oh, i can, i have no issues with that. I can compartmentalize very easily. Yeah, like. Oh, i get so frustrated because, like, i'll be having.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, so in my mind you can have multiple conversations with the same person at the same time. Sure, and like. So for me, like, if I'm talking with somebody over text and then I'm talking to them over, like Facebook Messenger and then I'm talking with them over Tik Tok, like those are three separate conversations And so I can bounce between all three of those and follow the thread of each of those conversations. So, like, over text, we're having a very serious conversation, and then over Facebook Messenger, we're talking about this person that we both hate in their douchebag, and then over Tik Tok, we're talking about the I don't know funny cats. I will go between all three conversations with the same person, but I'll be like engaging in those three types of conversations with the same person And I think that's completely normal.
Speaker 1:But, like, i've tried to do that with some people and they get confused, yeah, and I don't understand. Like, can you just not compartmentalize our conversations? Yeah, but you should be able to. They don't understand why they should, because I don't want all the separate stuff in their head simultaneously. They like to have one track of time especially. They've got like a lot of tabs open in their brain already. Well, but I like having the multiple tabs because when I'm on this tab is the serious conversation, on this tab is the funny cats And on this tab it's I don't know. I was talking about the co-worker that we hate Like. I like having those.
Speaker 1:I like being able to like engage in those different conversations at the same time with the same person, but we're having our different like thought threading things. That works great if you're a neurodivergent, but neuro typical people don't typically think three things simultaneously. Well, they need to catch the fuck up. I know One of my students yesterday did a presentation about Percy Jackson and how his ADHD is like something that all demigods have and that during battles it allows them to think of different tactics simultaneously and like be able to be aware of certain things and like, yeah, think in a bunch of directions once and then. He's not dyslexic, he just can only read Greek. I don't know. I thought it was kind of cute the way they explained it. That is cute. I've only ever watched the movie and one of the movies. I'm going to be honest, i've never seen the movies or the books, but the kids really into it, okay.
Speaker 1:But it's back to lesbian tattoos. That's like mostly what I do while I talk to you, so let me do show and tell them, okay. Okay, so this one is an axe, but it's like a special kind of axe, that's like a lesbian axe. Oh, that was a battle axe, it is, but it has a name. It's like LAPYS or something. And then I just snakes are pretty gay And I just thought this dagger looked cool.
Speaker 1:And then this is the origami butterfly I want to get Cause. Every late slip I get I turn into an origami butterfly and they're all over my classroom. I probably have like 2,500 that I've just attached to all the walls, okay. And then this time that I've just drawn today Well, that's just my peony that I have, and I want to add a snake to it. And then this is an apple that looks kind of like a clitoris, like vagina. I cut my bumble bee.
Speaker 1:You already have that tattoo, i already do, yeah. And then the star. I know, so fucking gay, i need to hurry up and get those. I know I wanted to. And then this is lesbian and Chinese. Oh, that's bad, yeah. So yeah, i just draw gay shit while we talk. I don't know if you know I need to, i need to, i want to get, i don't know, i don't know, i need more tattoos. Come to Kelowna, we'll get the stars. I will absolutely get the stars when I go to Kelowna. Fuck, yeah, book me the appointment. I'll pay, but, like, book me the appointment, cause I'll forget.
Speaker 1:When am I going to Kelowna? I'm going to Kelowna's. When am I going to Kelowna? September, twice in September. September would be good, because I don't want to go. Well, because you can't swim or sun with a new tattoo And that would really cut off the summer plans. Well, and so here's. The thing also is that I am going to Kelowna twice in September. Okay, i am going to Kelowna. I'm going to Kelowna September 2nd. Okay, let me see. Oh, my little angel is going to fly into Kelowna on the second September 2nd, so he'll be flying into Kelowna at 10 am on Saturday, kelowna 2nd or September 2nd. Okay, saturday September 2nd, he's flying into Kelowna. He'll be there at 10 am, so I will pick him up then maybe probably stay Saturday night and fly and drive back here on Sunday. Wait, i don't want to take a vacation. Wait, i'll check my vacation Hold on. So I'm off on the fourth and then I've taken vacation on the fifth, so we could probably drive back on the Monday. Yeah, we could drive back on the Monday. So then Saturday night, sunday night, will be.
Speaker 1:Oh, but like, would tattoo places be open on Sundays? They don't usually stay open on Sundays. Sunday is not a day. The tattoo places are open, i think it is. They're not going to go to church and they're going to be open when people are around. Oh right, You live in a city, a big city. They're not going to be like closed for Sunday Mass. Cause, like here places are closed on Sunday, like, really like places were open a bit more, like a few years ago, but then like they started closing on Sundays again And I was like we're kind of going backwards, our population is increasing but our availability is decreasing, cause, like I'm guessing that if I can come and if we can stay at your house Saturday night, sunday night, and then we'll drive back on Monday, cause I'm guessing like, although I'm going to pick them up at 10 o'clock on Saturday, he'll probably be pretty freaking dead, like flying from the other side of the country, probably would fall asleep on the way to your house.
Speaker 1:So that leaves all day, sunday to just like hang out, and then he could watch mommy get a tattoo. Nah, that's true. You're forced, lauren, to babysit. I feel like, is this what you want me to do? Oh, you know what? They're both neurodivergent. They probably get along like Well, that's so much fun. I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 1:If we bought if I bought him a Lego set, he would sit there with Lauren and probably have her help him put it together. He wouldn't have a great time. That would. That is his. Honestly, a perfect day for him is when we can sit down and build a Lego set together, and I wish we could do it every day, but like the reality is like it's so expensive. True, and by put it together together, i mean he does all of the steps and then every once in a while he goes mommy, can you help? Because he's gone backwards somewhere like three steps ago and he can't make the next piece fit. But yeah, i'll go get tattoos cause I need more. I don't have enough and I feel like I need more And then.
Speaker 1:So then I'll be also out in September, but like that's the weekend before school. Aren't you a teacher who does things before school? Yeah, but even if I'm doing things before school, like school, it'll over at three and it won't be on a Sunday, right, but it's like the weekend before school, like, aren't you like panicking the way the students do before school starts? No, no, if I were, wouldn't that just be like a good distraction? Very, very true. And then, so that's the first weekend in September. That's when that's happening. And then either the following weekend or so, like the weekend of the 10th, or the weekend after that, the weekend of like the 17th, i'll be up there again. Well, i get to see you a bunch of times, right, twice in the span of a month. Holy fuck. I mean I'm not gonna hold my breath. Well, you can hold your breath for the one the first weekend of September, because that one's kind of written in stone, because you already sent me the plane ticket, so I don't have an option. And once I'm out there, you know there's no point in coming back. Yeah, no, for sure, you're always welcome.
Speaker 1:We've got the one guest room that has like the queen bed, and then we have a whole other room that I'm in now where, like, the bed is like strapped to the wall, oh, just unstraightened. We would just sleep. I would absolutely sleep with my child in the same bed. We do that quite often, more often than I'd like to.
Speaker 1:I added scales to my snakey and I think you turned out even better. I need so many tattoos. I saw this one tattoo this guy got and it's just a bunch of like either octagons or hexagons on his body And then like so he got all of these like either octagons or hexagons I can't remember which one, probably hexagons. I feel like hexagons make sense Whole, like scales on his body or not body, but like a part of his body of them. And then he goes to a tattoo parlor and he gets them to fill in one of them. Oh, i saw that too. Yeah, i'm like that's such a good idea, it's a fantastic idea, great, cool. Yeah, i would like.
Speaker 1:I don't have enough. They're expensive. They are expensive. They're not just lifetime, but they're also expensive. I got to start saving up now. Well, i still have any disposable. Oh, my God, i have to do my taxes. How long time ago. I know I'm going to go get them done on Monday. Yeah, i'll get them done on Monday, because I do plan on actually putting some of this on the internet.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say this now so I can put it at the beginning Welcome to Distant Friends of Dorothy. We missed you. It's been a fucking minute And I hope that you enjoyed what we're going to talk about, even though I'm actually saying this at the end of the time that we're talking. But now my name is Karen. I am actual Karen on actual underscore, karen on TikTok, and I'm here with my wonderful, amazing person. I'm Rika and all my stuff is private. Because students stalk me. Yeah, they do. Maybe they're not gonna stalk me yet.
Speaker 1:My one coworker has her TikTok public and the kids quote her. They watch her TikToks and then they quote her, like there was a time when they kept being like it's because I'm a Scorpio, because my coworker had said that on one of their TikToks one time. Yeah, so that's like hanging out with her tomorrow at the park. It'll be great. She's cute too. She's really young and she's like 27 or something. She's a wee babe in the nest. Yeah, she'll figure it out. All right, i love you the most, sis, love you too, and then I will talk to you when there's only one week of school left. I can't wait, fuck, yeah, okay, have a wonderful sleep. Plan things, do things, all the things, everything. I'll talk to you next week. Bye, bye.